Awakening to Empathy

My favorite thing about aging is learning to integrate more and more aspects of my life so that I can simply "be" in One way. I cherished this awareness last night as I received deep empathy from my womens circle.

"Empathy" is a state of being defined in a particular way in Nonviolent Communication, as pioneered by Marshall Rosenberg. The verbal expression of empathy is usually centered on feelings and needs, but the state of consciousness (essential) has, as I see it, three specific elements: full focus, genuine curiosity, and a singular intent of connection.

I noted in my last blog that I found these elements key to a meditation of self-discovery. Not new news -- there is always overlap across the many paths to enlightenment. I am aware that these same elements have been key to my surviving crises of various sorts in my life. I'm not sure that "crises" speaks to the spectrum of my experiences here.

I am thinking, in this moment, of laboring to birth my second child. I had chosen not to plan out images, music, or meditations, and as contractions intensified, calling for my full attention, I approached the experience with open curiosity and an intention to connect -- this time, with a force beyond me. A powerful awakening into Being followed, and the experience has shaped me.

I opened myself to all guidance as the stimulation of labor took my body in waves. Images flowed through me -- a kayak bearing my infant flowing down a river from my crown to my root, the river turning into a rainbow, a light moving constantly and infinitely in both directions, my child in gentle, safe passage. The sounds of my heartbeat, the blood in my veins, filled me with the emptyfull sound of silence, as if I stood alone in the center of a great cathedral. All time dissolved, and I spent each contraction/expansion completely given over to this experience, guided by a force greater than my spirit had known.

I have opened myself to such imagery more and more in the years since Sam's birth. The process of listening to my body, heart, and mind has only deepened since then, and now I find myself accessing this in writing, music, and empathy. My eyes often close in these pursuits, and I am transported outside of myself beyond the realm of earthly vision.

Last night, as I prepared to receive empathy, I noticed a request from my body to sit cross-legged on the floor. I opened myself with curiosity to "hear" within what wanted to be spoken. Images flowed through me, and I described these at various points in the process. I find that often the images lead me in a meditation that opens my heart to clarity I had not imagined.

Recently, inward turning, I described the shape and size of my sadness and anxiety as an anchor, and then I heard myself saying that I wanted to leave this place, the tide was rising, but I was afraid to pull the anchor, afraid I would leave a piece of me behind. Then, the awareness flooded into me that I would not leave me behind, that I could not. I was in choice to take what I liked, what served me, and leave the rest behind. Relief surged as I realized that it was time to weigh anchor; I had faced my fears and was ready (see blogpost "Weighing Anchor"). Interestingly, my opportunity came to manifest this in my outer world within the hour.

The imagery has served me as I merge the heart of my emotions with my trust in spirit and the intellectual understanding I have gained around empathy as a process. I do not worry any more about whether the way that I receive empathy "works" for others. It is my own, and I am curious each time about how I will be guided to receive it.

I am sometimes surprised. Last night, as I mourned, simply to mourn, allowing the living need to flow through me as water through a pipe flowing both directions simultaneously, I gave myself permission to mourn as long or as often as it was alive to do so. I opened myself to any images that would tell me what was next when it was time. Do you know what came up in picture and word? I had to laugh: Strawberry Milkshake.

Go figure. Proof that mine is not a vegan awakening.