We Can Work It Out

"Mom, I don't tell a lot of things to M that are really important to me, even though he's my best friend." Trinidad's face was solemn.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Well, when I tell him something really exciting that I did, he usually says he doesn't believe me or that he's done something even better. I just feel really sad about that."

"Is it that you would like to celebrate with him your new accomplishments and share what you're really excited about without him thinking that he or his accomplishment is in any way 'less'?"

"Yeah. It's just really competitive, and so I don't want to talk to him much even though I really like to do things with him."

"I think it goes both ways in being competitive, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Have you ever thought about telling him what you'd like?"

"Tell him what?"

"That you'd really like to be able to celebrate something special that you did and ask that he only focus on that accomplishment and not share anything he did for a minute?"

"Yeah!"

"Would you really like for both of you to have that kind of time and space for celebration?"

"Yeah! I think I will talk to him," Trinidad said and looked much relieved.

Yesterday, Trin did tell M just that. He told him everything we talked about and Trinidad said they also made an agreement to believe what the other said (or at least not to say they didn't) in addition to making space for celebration.

"And guess what, Mom!" Trinidad shared with a beam. "M said he was just opening his mouth to say the same thing to me when I said it to him!"

"All that about celebration?" I asked.

"Yep. It's important to him, too. And then we spent hours telling each other all the things we'd been saving up and not saying for so long."