Urban Farm Mother Says....

1. If you stay inside long enough in the winter, you may forget that the bathroom sink is not the best place for children (or anyone) to wash muddy rocks.

2. If you have made the above mistake, you might look at your toothbrush carefully before using it the next time.

3. Children do not always remove their gloppy boots at the entrance, despite their best intentions. This fact could be viewed as an inexpensive personal growth workshop in the art of lettting go.

4. While living large on small city acreage is to be commended, hanging the white clothes within six feet of the manure pile that awaits transport to the garden is not advisable -- it happens.

5. If you have made the above error, you may be consoled to know that whatever streaks are now visible on whatever whites you dare to own will only be recognizable in origin to you -- the fact of the matter is that "white" clothes (amidst children under 10) are only "dirty" when they stink.

6. Beating the dirt out of rugs is a charming way to connect with your ancestors and tidy your home. Don't wear lipgloss to do it.

7. When children dig, they find tools you did not know exist to do it.

8. When children hit the water table while digging, this is a marvelous discovery and opportunity for a lesson in earth science.

9. When children hit the clay layer just below the water table, your deck and floors will pay the price. But you will discover the charm of authentic clay booties on everyone -- even the dog.

10. It is shocking what a mother will let slide as a "nutritious lunch" when she is trying to gain a little more time in the garden. This moment-of-abandon acts as a balance for all of the fresh, crisp greens she has been unsuccessfully encouraging her children to eat. Surely if sinning in the mind is still a sin, intending to feed your children local, healthy food is worth something....

11. Despite the hard-core belief of fantastic young imaginations, plywood alone is not an adequate surfboard for a pond in winter.

12. It is very rare that only one child at a time falls into a muddy pond. This is a moment of intense cooperation that you are not likely to celebrate.